CHAPTER TWENTY

Three days after Bonnie's death, Melanie was sitting outside Rhett's room, pale and worried. For seven days Rhett had been locked in his room, not eating anything. He had had Bonnie's pony shot, and the hours immediately following Bonnie's death had been horrible. Scarlett could hardly think of them without bursting into tears.

Scarlett herself was miserable, but she had never seen anyone act the way Rhett was acting. He had screamed for everyone to stay away from his daughter's body. Now, he would not let anyone bury her! Bonnie was lying in a coffin surrounded with flowers in Rhett's room. He would not speak to Scarlett or anyone else, and he wouldn't let any of them see Bonnie.

"Miss Scarlett and Miss Melanie, what are we going to do? We have to bury Miss Bonnie," said Mammy sadly, her eyes filling with tears. "Oh, Miss Scarlett, I have never seen a man so upset. You're strong, Miss Scarlett. You can handle just about anything. No matter how terrible the pain is for you, you can survive this. But Mr Rhett! I don't know what he'll do," cried Mammy.

"Mammy, Scarlett, I'll speak to him. Maybe I can convince him to let go of Bonnie," said Melanie. Scarlett thought to herself that Melanie looked almost dead herself. She looked extremely sick, in fact.

"All right, Melanie. See what you can do," said Scarlett.

She sat down on a couch and began to cry. Bonnie had been her favorite child. Oh, why did this have to happen? Why, why?

Melanie went up to Rhett's room and knocked on the door. "Go away!" yelled Rhett from inside.

"Mr Butler, it's me, Melanie. Please, please let me in," said Melanie gently.

After a moment she opened the door and stepped inside. She did not come out, but Mammy and Scarlett could hear her soft voice speaking.

Mammy and Scarlett waited outside Rhett's room for the rest of the night.

Finally, in the early hours of the morning, Melanie opened the door and stepped out. She looked exhausted and weak.

"Scarlett, I've finally persuaded Rhett. He will let us have the funeral" whispered Melanie.

"Melanie, I don't know how you did it," said Scarlett.

Suddenly Melanie cried out in pain and fell to the ground! Mammy and Scarlett lifted her up and put her on the couch. Melanie's normally calm face was filled with pain. "Melanie, what's wrong? What happened?" said Scarlett.

"Oh, Scarlett, I'm so happy ... I'm going to have another baby!" said Melanie weakly. "Please don't tell anyone yet, I want it to be a surprise for Ashley. He doesn't know. I'm sure ... I'm sure I'm all right. Don't worry about me."

"Another baby ... Melanie, are you crazy? What did the doctor tell you? You can't have another baby!" cried Scarlett.

"Oh, no ... Mammy, tell Prissy to run and find a doctor!

It was three days later—three long, hard days. Bonnie had been buried quickly and quietly. Only Scarlett, Rhett, Mammy, Ashley and the children came to the funeral, because Rhett did not want many people to come. Since the funeral, Rhett had been drunk almost all the time. However, when he drank he was not loud and angry; instead he did not speak to anyone. He shut himself up in his room. Scarlett wondered what he was thinking about, but she was too busy thinking about her own sadness at Bonnie's death. And now—Melanie was extremely ill.

Dr Meade, the Hamilton family's doctor, had told Ashley that Melanie was pregnant again. He did not say much more to Ashley than that. The doctor seemed angry and sad, however, and Scarlett was afraid of what this might mean. Dr Meade stayed at Ashley and Melanie's house all day and night without leaving.

On the third night of Melanie's sickness, Scarlett and Ashley were sitting in the living room, not saying anything. The house was quiet, and little Beau, Ashley and Melanie's son, was sitting next to his father. His small face was pale with fear.

Scarlett was thinking about the long years that she had known Melanie. In all that time, she had always thought of Melanie as a silly, ridiculous girl who had no strength or independence. And, more importantly, Melanie had married Ashley. Scarlett had never been able to understand why Ashley had married Melanie instead of her.

But now that Melanie seemed so extremely sick, Scarlett realized many things. Melanie had always been strong—stronger than any of them. "The kindest people are the strongest and best," thought Scarlett. Melanie had defended Scarlett against all the people who didn't like her. Even though Scarlett had spoken badly of Melanie for years, and had never liked her, and been jealous of her, Melanie had always loved and admired Scarlett. She would not have cared what other people thought. And now, Scarlett was getting the feeling that, deep down inside, Melanie knew how Scarlett had felt, all these years. But that didn't stop Melanie from loving and believing in her. She was generous and kind and she understood people. "Melanie is everything that I am not," thought Scarlett. "I've never been able to understand the people around me—especially Ashley, and Rhett too!"

Scarlett realized that somehow in the past years, she had come to love Melanie. She stood up and walked up the stairs to Melanie's room. "She can't die! She can't die!" Scarlett was thinking.

Suddenly Dr Meade opened the door to Melanie's room and saw Scarlett. "Come here," he said. They stepped into another room and the doctor closed the door.

"Scarlett, I have some very serious things to say," Dr Meade said. "Melanie is not going to survive this night. She will die before morning."

Scarlett cried out in pain. "Be quiet!" Dr Meade said in a loud whisper. "I won't let you upset the whole house! You have to be calm, Scarlett. Melanie wants to see you. She is in a lot of pain, but she keeps asking to see you. Now—I don't want you to say anything that will upset her. Do you understand, Scarlett?" The doctor looked at Scarlett very firmly. "I want Melanie's last minutes on earth to be peaceful. Just let her talk to you."

Scarlett knew what the doctor meant. He meant that Scarlett must not tell Melanie about her feelings for Ashley, now that Melanie was dying. Scarlett must not admit to Melanie all the bad things she had said about her over the years. "I won't, Dr Meade," said Scarlett. Tears were running down her face as she stepped into Melanie's room.

"Scarlett ... " whispered Melanie from her bed. "Hello, darling!" said Scarlett. She was trying to sound happy, even though she felt that her heart was breaking. "Can I make you more comfortable here in bed? We need you to get well!

"Scarlett ... Dr Meade has told me I won't live," Melanie said softly.

Scarlett was crying silently as she sat by Melanie's bed. "Nonsense, Melanie! You'll be better soon. Be strong, Melanie! Ashley and Beau need you ... I need you!"

"Scarlett ... my brave Scarlett, I always admired you. Scarlett ... you must do something for me."

"Anything," whispered Scarlett, taking Melanie's hand.

"Scarlett ... look after Ashley when I'm gone. He needs ... someone. He's not strong like you are. He always ... speaks so well of you. But ... never let him know," said Melanie.

Scarlett stared into Melanie's large eyes. They were as deep and dark as pools of water. Melanie wanted Scarlett to take care of Ashley, but not to let him know she was doing it. Had Melanie guessed how Scarlett had felt about Ashley? "Maybe she does know," thought Scarlett. "But it doesn't matter now."

"Yes, darling, I'll look after Ashley and Beau for you," said Scarlett. "Oh, Melanie! You can't leave us—please don't leave us!" And she put her head next to Melanie's and cried. Oh, it was too late! She had realized what Melanie meant to her, but it was too late.

"Scarlett ... don't cry, darling. I know ... how you feel. And Scarlett, be kind to Rhett. He loves you so, you know."

"He does?" said Scarlett. "All right, Melanie. I'll be kind to him. Anything you want."

Dr Meade opened the door. "Scarlett, Melanie must speak to Ashley and Beau now," he said quietly.

Scarlett kissed Melanie's cheek. "Good bye, darling," was all she could say before leaving. "Goodbye," whispered Melanie.

Outside the room, Scarlett sat on the floor and cried. She had not cried in years, because she was the sort of person that thought that crying did no good. But now, to lose Bonnie and Melanie in the same week!

After she had cried out her tears, Scarlett sat there for a while quietly. Suddenly the door opened and Ashley stepped out of Melanie's room. Scarlett could hear Beau crying, "Mother! Mother, don't leave me!" It was a terrible sound.

"She's gone, Scarlett. The only person who ever understood me, who ever really knew me, is gone," Ashley said.

Scarlett looked at him, and he seemed almost like an old man. She suddenly realized something so powerful that it almost made her faint: She did not love Ashley. She hadn't loved him for years. And Ashley had never really loved her. Scarlett had not known what love was. When she was sixteen years old, she had wanted Ashley the way a child wants a new toy to play with, but somewhere along the way Ashley had become an old friend, or almost a brother, who shared the memories of the wonderful old days before the war. Scarlett finally realized that Ashley was different, and she had never really known him. But Melanie had known him, and loved him for who he was. Ashley was weak, and he had not had the strength to survive after the war had destroyed the South. Scarlett and Ashley would never have been happy together.

After so many years, Scarlett realized that Rhett was the one she loved. Rhett had understood her, helped her, laughed at her sometimes and made her angry, but he really had loved her. Melanie had seen it, even if Scarlett had not. "I've got to tell him that I love him!" Thought Scarlett. "Oh, all these years I've been so stupid and blind!

Ashley stood there staring out the window at the moon and trees. "Ashley ... oh, Ashley, I'm so sorry!" Scarlett said. She put her arms around him, but her arms were those of a friend.

"Scarlett, what am I going to do now ... help me!" said Ashley. His eyes were red. There was gray in his hair. Scarlett felt she had to leave that house or she would go crazy with sadness. "I need Rhett!" she thought.

"Ashley, I have to go now. You'll be all right. Really, you will. I'll help you ... my friend," said Scarlett. She ran down the stairs and out of the house before Ashley could answer.

Scarlett hurried through the cold mist thinking about the man she loved. Now, in this time of sadness, she needed Rhett's jokes and laughter. Rhett understood her in a way that no other man ever had. "He was right—I have been selfish, and stubborn. We are a lot alike!" thought Scarlett. "How could I not have seen the truth? We belong together."

Scarlett saw her house on the top of the hill. All the lights were on, and it looked warm and comforting. She ran up the steps and into the house, crying out, "Rhett, Rhett! Where are you?"

She heard Rhett's quiet voice. "I'm in the dining room, Scarlett," he said.

Scarlett entered the dining room. Rhett was sitting at the table, but he was not drinking. He looked calm and quiet, and very sad somehow.

"Oh, Rhett ... Melanie's dead!" cried Scarlett.

"I thought her death would be soon. She was so weak," said Rhett quietly. "Well ... she was the best of us. Melanie was the greatest woman I ever knew, and I will miss her. She was a truly kind person, and that takes true bravery."

Suddenly his face changed. "I suppose Melanie's death makes it easy for you and Ashley now, Scarlett," he said. "You can have each other."

"Oh, Rhett, how could you think that I would do that? I know it doesn't make sense, but I ... really did love Melanie. I don't know why I didn't realize it sooner. I'm stubborn, I guess. And, oh, Rhett ... I don't love Ashley! I never really did; when I was a girl I wanted to marry him but I didn't really know what love was.

But now I understand everything, Rhett. I've been so stupid ... but I love you, darling!" Scarlett said passionately.

"Scarlett, Scarlett," Rhett said. His voice was tired and quiet. He did not seem like his usual self. Why wasn't he happy? "What do you mean, you love me?"

"Darling, I've loved you for years, only I didn't see it. But now I do see it! Oh, Rhett, I'm so sad about Melanie and Bonnie ... but I'm so happy because I have you. Kiss me!

"Scarlett, it isn't going to be like that. I waited here for you tonight because I have something to tell you. I'm leaving, Scarlett. I can't live here anymore."

"But ... why, Rhett?" Scarlett said.

"Scarlett, I always loved you, and I thought you knew it. You're so cruel to the people who love you, Scarlett. You take their love and use it, like a sword. I saw you do this with Charles Hamilton, with Frank, and then with me. When Bonnie was born, I imagined that she was just like you as a little girl. I thought I could win your love somehow, by treating Bonnie so well. But when Bonnie died ... she took everything."

"I'm tired, Scarlett. You have taken all the love out of me. So I'm leaving now. I'm going to find a quiet place somewhere where the old South still exists, where I can rest."

"Rhett ... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Please don't leave me, I love you so. I understand things now. We can have a new life together!" cried Scarlett.

Rhett smiled gently. "Oh, Scarlett, you can't say 'I'm sorry' and take all the past away. It's too late, my dear. I am leaving now, this minute."

"But Rhett, don't you understand what I'm saying?" cried Scarlett. She was miserable. How could this be happening?

"I do understand how you feel, my darling. But Scarlett, after so many years ... honestly, I don't give a damn."

Rhett looked at her gently and kissed her on the cheek. Scarlett was too shocked to say anything. She watched him walk out of the dining room, out the door and disappear into the cold, misty night.

She closed the door and sat down on the steps. "Oh, what am I going to do? How can I make Rhett understand that I love him?" she cried out to herself. She had never felt unhappier in her life—not even when she found out Ellen was dead.

"Oh, I can't think about it now," Scarlett said out loud. "I'll go crazy if I think about it all now! I'll think about it tomorrow ... at Tara!

The wonderful home of her youth called out to her. No matter what else Scarlett lost in her life, she still had Tara. She had struggled and fought for it. Scarlett wanted to see the green cotton fields and the peaceful sunset. She wanted to sit on the porch and remember the old days. She needed to think about Rhett, and about the future.

Scarlett stood up. The old determination was in her eyes. "I'll go home—home to Tara!" she said. "At Tara, I'll think about a way to get Rhett back ... tomorrow! After all, tomorrow is another day!"

(end of section)